Obviously women’s likes and dislikes are very personal and individual when it comes to

love-play and the caring man finds out what pleases his partner most by asking her to tell him and by experimentation. We cannot stress enough how different women are one from another in what they like, so don’t go by your previous experience of women. What she does to you may be a clue as to what she likes done to her.

Kissing and caressing-Almost all women like being stroked and caressed and kissed all over their body. Usually it is best to start furthest away from her sex organs and work towards them slowly. Find areas of the body which she especially likes having stimulated and concentrate on these. The feet, behind the knees, the insides of her thighs, the shoulders and the ear lobes are areas that many women find arousing. The nearest you should get to genital stimulation at this stage is to run your fingers over and through her pubic hair.

Next, go on to caress other more specifically erotic areas such as her breasts, mouth and bottom. When kissing these, or indeed any areas be careful not to tickle your partner because this can break the relaxing spell. Breasts need to be approached gently at first. Many women complain that men are too rough with their breasts before they are aroused. Kissing and sucking is what most women like best and stroking is pleasant too. Never bite the nipples (especially when a woman is highly aroused) because you could easily hurt or damage them. As you caress and kiss the woman’s breasts, her nipples will stand out and become hard and her breasts will swell slightly. About half of all women say that they enjoy their breasts as erotic centres during love-making. Of the remainder, some are excited more by their partner’s obvious enjoyment of them than they are by the direct stimulation he gives them. Many a woman’s breast sensitivity changes in the course of her menstrual cycle and what can be very arousing at one time of the month can be annoying or even painful at others. It is therefore important that men learn about their partner’s breasts and vary their love-making techniques to take these changes into account.

A woman’s buttocks are also very sensitive and arousing for her during foreplay. Most women like their buttocks caressed and squeezed. This also gives the man an opportunity to get very near her vaginal area with the woman face down and this can be very arousing because of the promise it brings. Some women enjoy gentle smacking on their bottom. This is not necessarily related to the sadomasochistic pursuits we will consider later.

When caressing your partner you may find you get carried away and that you bite or suck her so hard that she is marked. Be sensitive about this. First, never bite too hard but keep it playful and, second, don’t bite her where it will be seen by others, which will embarrass her.

By now your partner should be very relaxed and pleasantly aroused and her excitement phase will be well under way. The time all this takes varies enormously from couple to couple and even within any one couple, depending on the circumstances. When you both feel ready, let your hand go down to her vulva and start to caress her clitoris. Some women are so aroused by what has already happened that they will guide your hand to their pubic area. The whole area should be fairly moist from the woman’s vaginal fluids which are produced as she becomes aroused, but KY jelly can be useful if the woman lubricates slowly. If she is still dry, use some saliva so that as you caress her clitoris your finger does not feel rough but slides more easily. What you do to your partner’s clitoris depends entirely on what she likes and you should ask her, but most women like the pressure to be gentle and the movements slow at first, building up to harder and more vigorous movements as they near orgasm. What any one woman likes is based on her unique masturbation method.

Now as the clitoris responds dip your fingers into her vagina to keep the vulva moist with vaginal fluid. You really should not need any lubricant other than saliva or the woman’s natural fluids. Once she is very excited don’t delay but bring her to a climax and be sensitive to her needs for this. Many women want their partner to put his penis into their vagina while continuing to caress their clitoris; others need manually produced orgasms before the man enters; and others like to have one orgasm without the penis inside and then to have others with it inside with either the man or the woman herself caressing her clitoris.

Either before caressing the clitoris or even after an orgasm (depending on what your partner likes or asks for) you can use your fingers to stimulate her vagina. Always make sure that your nails are well cut and that you have not got any obvious infections on your fingers before doing any of this.

Many men assume that because they enjoy their penis being stimulated by hand that women will also enjoy vaginal stimulation best. This is by no means true and some women dislike fingers inside them. If your partner does like to be stimulated in this way, and most do, don’t thrust several fingers in at once or do it when she is dry. Get her well lubricated as we have described above, then lick your middle finger and gently insert it in with your palm upwards. You may be able to feel the neck of the womb (cervix) as a hard knob with a dimple in the middle. Some women like their cervix stimulated when they are very aroused or like the finger to sweep around inside the vagina. Some like their ovaries stimulated (at the sides of the top of the vagina). Some women like their partner to use his fingers in a sort of thrusting (penis-like) movement and others like the fingers simply inserted and kept nearly still.

Many women use two fingers inside their vaginas when they masturbate and so may well want more stimulation than one finger can give, especially if they have had a baby. Find out how many fingers your partner most enjoys: though it may be different from one time to the next. A few women like their vaginal opening stretched with several fingers. Some women, once sufficiently aroused, can have very enjoyable orgasms from being stimulated using the fingers alone but many enjoy the combination of fingers inside and other things such as cunnilingus (oral stimulation of the clitoral area).

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