The patient who brings someone to the clinic may give valuable information about herself. She may feel too immature or helpless to cope alone, or she may anticipate a battle and bring a friend to fight on her behalf. Partners may come out of true caring but they may also come to make sure she ‘gets it done’, or they may be dragged along to suffer.

Questions posed by the patient may give clues as to how she feels about herself; for example, a question as to how many women suffer from infertility or have a severe emotional reaction suggests an anxiety that she herself may have anxieties about her own fertility and worries about how she will feel afterwards. It is important to give the patient the facts wherever possible, but also to look at the anxieties underlying the question.

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